Rain and more rain. Wind that knocks trees helter-skelter. Mugginess, then a cool wind and back to muggy a few times a day. Blue sky one minute, gray heavy clouds the next. Brad is filling the wood box with wood that has been thoroughly rained upon all morning, all week for that matter. This house feels damp and icky, chilly. A fire should dry things out temporarily. It's September and I'm afraid Indian summer will never get a chance. We came into the month with very little fall color. At the moment there is a stiff breeze blowing. That should scuttle the clouds away.
A year ago I wrote in a post about grace and forgiveness being integral in our marriage and how good it is. Still is good. Here I am needing to relearn, again. How frustratingly slow is my growing up!
I am always "preaching" about being kind to others no matter who they are or what they've done. And that everyone deserves kindness in the sense that none of us does, really. And we are instructed/beseeched to love one another by the Apostle John of the early church. The other thing I thought I had learned was to not let rumors and wrong impressions about us ruin our joy.
It seems God has been testing all those beliefs. Knowing what is the right thing to do and actually being able to DO the right thing are two different things. It has been a very daily duty of hard going fraught with yawning ditches of discouragement.
What if, what really happened never comes to light? Am I so insecure in my relationship/identity with Jesus that I must charge around trying to take care of my own reputation? But this is hard work. Each of us has his own "take" and to prove anything as more true than any other thing in this muddle is a mistake. Finally, we will each have to take our baggage to Jesus.
I don't have a clue about the song, but hearing "Let It Go" from the lips of a grandchild from the back seat about 15 times in a row did good things for me. I don't think Jube has a clue about the song either. God uses the strangest things sometimes, doesn't He? I mean the song, not the boy.
And one more thing. Nobody is always right or always wrong. So the sooner we realize that we're all just people in need of a Savior, the sooner we can decide to trust Him and live, happy.
I'm praying, "Here Jesus, You carry this thing for me, It's so heavy and I'm tired of it." Jesus invited his disciples to do this as His last word to their doubt about His validity. They kept asking, "Is this the One?"
It is the same question we're asking, really. All of our fears and elbowing are rooted in that question. Such folly, when we know the answer!
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
-Jesus
Thank you. For putting so many of my thoughts from the past year into words and writing them down for me to see, right here. And that last verse is definitely in my thoughts a lot.
ReplyDeleteExactly Arla, It's not about me anyway, its about what God is doing while I can't figure it out. Faith is walking forward through those clouds of what will people think... Keep walking...
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