Here's the grandmother's chair. She sits here a lot these days. At ninety, she could sit more and be fine. But she still would rather be up and doing. Elv took her up on her offer to make us supper on Saturday night. Then we didn't eat enough to suit her. She accused us of having stopped for supper on our way down. We hadn't. We ate her supper of meatballs and potatoes and pie. She's still a good cook, too. But I think after this, we'll try to bring our supper with us. Though we'll still let her make the pie.
So the point of going down to see Mom Graber is that she is the mother and needs to be visited. Because she won't always be there to visit. I think losing Dad almost twenty years ago when nobody was planning for that gave us all a better sense of how quickly parents can be taken from us. And we'd better make the most of the moments we have left with them.
But we suspect that Mom likes our visits because we bring the children along. She and Brad always play table games. Actually, I think that's about what she thinks the point of our coming to visit is... playing table games with Brad. He likes it, too. So it's okay. Her world has shrunk down in a lot of ways to those who come to visit or send cards, pictures, and letters. She still goes to church, but doesn't hear very well even with hearing aids.
I always feel introspective about our own old age in years to come, after a visit with Mom.
It's easy to decide today how I shall spend all that free time when I am ninety. She told me that part of what keeps her busy is how long it takes her to do anything.
"Even getting out of my chair takes much longer lately." She explained, talking about how her days still go quickly.
I'm watching and listening as she describes her life and interests to us.
"I am so forgetful. And I don't like that about my life."
She is forgetful, but she didn't repeat her stories as much this time as she has before at times. Instead she is finding bits of trivia coming to the surface in her mind and she can remember the most amazing things. She remembers things like the birth weights of each her sons.
I also noticed that Mom has struggles of the mind, lately. She worried that we hadn't enjoyed the church service. She apologized for the poor singing. Then I wished I hadn't mentioned how quiet the singing had been. It was good singing, truly. She wondered if it had really been as long as it felt since we had been to see her. I honestly didn't know how to answer her question. Is it possible to visit often enough?
We must continue to pray that she have victory over discouragements. I'll admit I'm a little bug-eyed seeing how the enemy doesn't leave even the aged alone. Let's pray for our parents as diligently as we pray for our children.
It does work better to sit closer to Grandma to be heard.
This time she talked about how old and rickety her possessions are becoming. That she really has nothing that anybody is going to want when she dies. She has talked about this for the last ten years. And I think she's worried that she really will be around for another ten years.
"I hope I don't live as long as Mama did."
And I think she really means that. She loves life but she's ready to go home, too. Almost all of her peers are already on the other side.
I could get all poetic about this picture. One of them standing on the banks of Jordan; the other back a few miles with most of life before her. And all that sort of thing. I won't bore you with that. It's interesting to think about though.
Mom feeds the birds. I am entranced by birds. There were goldfinches, house finches, purple finches, slate juncos, blue jays (Mom shoos them away), a pair of cardinals, chickadees, and nuthatches. So I stood at the window with the camera and clicked away. I kept telling myself Sunday morning before church that it was silly to take pictures of birds and didn't move toward it. But after lunch, I decided that it would be great practice learning how to use the camera better. So I caved in. I'm so glad I did. Now you all can tell me how I could have improved my focusing and lighting, please.