Someday I hope to be all grown up. To have no burning questions. To be able to move beyond indecision. To not worry. To know what is the right thing in every trouble. Someday.
But now and then I gain another rung. Like this one: We have discovered that happiness in marriage is more about commitment through forgiveness than about how I can let him know how he can best love me. The Love Language discussion boiled down to so much me-ism for me and didn't yield so great after-all.
Just so happens that my own dear husband is rather unique and the things the marriage self-help books purported to be good for marriage was pretty well bunk for us. Now I realize that others are being encouraged and strengthened by said literature, so I will not condemn them altogether. But frankly, I entered the muddiest place of stuck-ness upon reading Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrich. Honestly!
Turns out that the best thing that ever happened to us and our marriage is forgiveness and the offering of grace to each other. I suspect that this could very well be the answer for anyone. To accept that I need forgiveness and so does he and to give it freely and graciously knowing good and well that we are just people after all is to move into a huge area of fresh air and beauty.
Now, to not forget! To choose to live IN victory instead of UNDER condemnation is absolutely the most freeing thing there is. Go through the gate of praise into righteousness and live there. Ask for forgiveness, you know you need it, and give it, too. Choose grace in your dealings with others. Never mind the pop mind games of today's gurus. The simple gospel of Jesus Christ works the best anyway! Try it for yourselves.